Essay Sample on Child Custody

Many parents and guardians think that children shouldn't get a choice in their custody placement because they can't make reasonable decisions as children and decide things for their life. They believe that children may not be in the right headspace to make that big of a decision or understand the full meaning of decision-making. They also think that parents could manipulate children to tell them what to say to a judge. To support this, an article titled “Judges Decide Child Custody - Not Kids” states, “Children dealing with divorcing or separating parents already have enough to worry about knowing that their parents are no longer living together. Most kids wonder where they will sleep every night, whether they will have a bedroom in each of the new homes, where "home base" will be, and whether they did something wrong to cause the divorce. Children thrive in stable, loving, and healthy environments, so when parents divorce, it's the court's job, not the child's, to decide which parent can provide the best environment for the child.” (AllLaw) The idea that children should get a say in their custody is also supported in an article titled “In Whose Best Interest” which elaborates that, “The lawyer should meet with all family members, individually and as a group, to ensure the child's wishes are respected in the next two-year parenting plan. Children's wishes should be decisive, in place of those experts and judges, as long as at least one parent agrees with them. Some may fear this system would result in young children being manipulated by their parents.”( site ) This makes sense because people, parents, and all people involved with these children want the best for them, and the parents want to see their children. It is understandable how they would want honest opinions from the judge and make it fair on behalf of the parents, but overall, even though affects the parents greatly, it is the children's lives who are being changed and altered with the most, and children who are going through it should be able to get some type of say in big decisions like this. 

One big aspect of giving children a voice in choosing their custody with divorced parents is keeping them safe from abuse and giving them safe living space.   A huge factor is if the parents are in the right headspace and well-being to take care of the child. Gale states this, “While best-interests factors vary from state to state, according to the Child welfare information gateway the most common factors include: …. -The mental and physical health of the parents -The absence of domestic violence in the home” (“Introduction to child custody: opposing viewpoints”) This represents the big requirements that parents have to be able to meet to be fit to take care of a child. Another big piece of evidence to support the safety of children is from Amy Wright Glenn “Martin Daly and Margo Wilson note: "If their parents find new partners, children are 40 times more likely than those who live with biological parents to be sexually or physically abused.’” (Child abuse is 40 times more likely when single parents find new partners) This shows a big statistic about safety and abuse with children whose custody may not have been in their choice or favor. A final piece of evidence from Cornell Law School states, “If a party convinces the court that visitation rights would be injurious to the children best interested, then the court possesses the authority to deny visitation rights,”. This is stating that if the court finds out that a child being with a specific parent is harmful, they won’t give them custody and visitation time. This could be possible if kids had a voice in their custody and were allowed to speak up because they are the only ones who are in the specific situation. Overall, giving children just a little bit of decision and voice can save them from so much mental and physical pain.

Another huge objective of giving kids more desire on their custody decisions is kids needs and kids comfortability. Kids are sometimes watched or followed but never given the chance to explain what goes on in their homes. Gale states this in the article In Whos Best Interest, “We subject children to this when we call in experts to evaluate their lives over a day or weeks as a part of the custody process, instead of just listening to them.” Giving kids the chance to give feedback on their household lifestyle is just one way the system can be improved. Another is making sure parents meet specific standards to support and provide for their children. “While best-interests factors vary from state to state, according to the CHild welfare information gateway the most common factors include: 

-The emotional ties and relationship between the child and his or her parents, siblings, family, and household members, or other caregivers

-the capacity of the parents to provide a safe home and adequate food, clothing, and medical care

-The mental and physical health needs of the child” (Gale, introduction to child custody: opposing viewpoints) These factors could help change a child's living style and make them more comfortable and getting the care they deserve. Giving children their needs like medical care, food, clothes, and a safe place to live is important, but so is making sure their mental health and connections with their other parent, if wanted and deemed suitable, is available. “They (child development experts) encourage providing young children with a sense of stability and predictability so that they feel secure and supported while giving adolescents increased responsibilities and respecting their greater need for autonomy. Since the parent-child relationship is so important to development, allowing the child to continue relationships with both parents can provide reassurance and supports.” (Gale, Divorce Overview) Going through a divorce is tough for kids and they should be able to talk to whomever they need, whether that is a therapist or their other parent or family members.  Parents need to be able to provide for their children no matter if it's mental health, medical care, food, clothes, a living space, or anything else that makes the child feel comfortable. A lot of times when this standard isn't being reached, it goes unnoticed because the children, which are the ones who experience this, arent deemed worthy to share the truth. This is why giving kids a say is so important.

The final, and immensely important reason why children of divorce should get an opinion on their custody decision is so that their lifestyle with school and friends isn't affected. Divorce is a really difficult thing to go through for many different people involved in the situation, but children. Some children may think it's their fault, some children are upset with their parents, and some don't get the care they deserve during this time. Children need to stay at their current school with their friends and peers so that they have a strong support system during a rough patch in their life. Johnson Westra states this when he says “Children may rely on their friends and classmates for support during a divorce, but when children are forced to change school as a result of the split, they may lose the comfort of their social network as well.” (Moving your child to a new school due to divorce) This rephrases the importance of giving kids a say. It is also known that custody is more likely to be given to the parent who lives, and will stay, in the area of the child's school district. (Johnson Westra, Moving your child to a new school due to divorce) It is also known that moving can be one of the biggest stressors of a divorce, Gale says, “Stressors that alter a child's daily life are often the most difficult aspects of a divorce, including new living arrangments, neighborhoods, and schools. Losing consistent contact with one parent and experiencing less consistent discipline, reduced affection, and greater financial hardship are all common stressors. Child development experts recommend ways to minimize the negative emotional impact that divorce can have on children” (Children of divorce overview) This just confirms how important it is to give children that final decision of if they feel comfortable with moving or not and letting them explain why could save both parents from a lot of sad days with their child and unnecessary stress.