The Theme of Toxicity in Things Fall Apart and Joy Luck Club

The toxicity in Things Fall Apart and Joy Luck Club is a great deal of resentment from a son to his father and plenty of control from a mother to her daughter. The father-son relationship in Things Fall Apart is bad from the son's end because he has a deep hatred for his father and resents him to the point he refuses to be like his father as well as in the mother-daughter relationship in Joy Luck Club the toxicity shows itself byways of controlling and Jing-Mei Woo (June) always trying to please her mom without any praise. Both Things Fall Apart and Joy Luck Club contain some of the most toxic mother-daughter and father-son relationships I have witnessed, especially in the aspects of hatred and it is very controlling.

In Joy Luck Club, June and her mother’s relationship is toxic; there is a very big disconnect between the two. June is trying to please her mom and it seems as if she can not ever live up to her mom’s expectations. “My mom looked at me and smiled. ‘Only you pick that crab. Nobody else takes it. I already know this. Everybody else wants the best quality. You are thinking differently’ She said it in a way as if this were proof- proof- of something good.” (Achebe 233). The quote shows the sacrifices June makes to please her mother and make sure everyone is pleased with her actions. Eventually, after being compared her whole life she starts growing a backbone and being more independent and trustworthy in herself. “And after seeing my mother’s disappointed face once again, something inside of me began to die. I hated the tests, the raised hopes and failed expectations. Before going to bed that night, I looked in the mirror above the bathroom sink and when I saw only my face staring back- and that it would always be this ordinary face staring back- I began to cry. Such a sad, ugly girl! I made high-pitched noises like a crazed animal, trying to scratch out the face in the mirror.” (Achebe 144). June decides she does not want to be that girl in the mirror and wants so badly to be the person who stands up for herself and she does relize her self worth and who she truly is later in the book. Not only does June’s mother compare here but June compares her old self to her new self as well. “And then I saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of me- because I had never seen that face before. I looked at my reflection, blinking so I could see more clearly. The girl staring back at me was angry, powerful. This girl and I were the same. I had new thoughts, willful thoughts, or rather thoughts filled with lots of won’ts. I won’t let her change me, I promised myself. I won’t be what I’m not.” (Achebe 144). She is her new self and is done being compared to her past self and to others, this also encompasses her building her backbone and sticking up for herself. I most definitely think that Jing-Mei Woo (June) and her mother’s relationship is the worst in Joy Luck Club.

In Things Fall Apart the relationship that is the most toxic or has the most strain on their relationship is Okonkwo and his father Unoka. This father son relationship is filled with Okonkwo hating his father his whole life says that he was lazy and incapable. “Unoka, for that was his father's name, had died ten years ago. In his day he was lazy and impatient and was quite incapable of thinking about tomorrow.” (Achebe 4).  Okonkwo wanted to be everything his father was not and be the complete opposite. This resulted in Okonkwo wanting to be the best of the best and bring honor to his family. “His fame rested on solid personal achievements. As a young man of eighteen he had brought honor to his village by throwing Amalinze the Cat. Amalinze was the great wrestler who for seven years was unbeaten, from Umuofia to Mbaino. He was called the Cat because his back would never touch the earth. It was this man that Okonkwo threw in a fight which the old men agreed was one of the fiercest since the founder of their town engaged a spirit of the wild for seven days and seven nights.” (Achebe 3). Unlike his father who was a failure in his adulthood. “Unoka, the grown-up, was a failure. He was poor and his wife and children had barely enough to eat. People laughed at him because he was a loafer, and they swore never to lend him any more money because he never paid back. But Unoka was such a man that he always succeeded in borrowing more, and piling up his debts.” (Achebe 5). This quote shows how Okonkwo wants to be the complete opposite of his father, he is trying to be what he did not necessarily think was a possibility when he was younger. Okonkwo is willing to take the risk and has a desire to want to work whereas his father was dependent on other people for loans. 

Now both these books contain some level of toxicness between a  mother-daughter combination and father-son relationship, more of which I have ever noticed in a normal family. Now the more toxic relationship was definitely between Okonkwo and his father but June and her mother had a better bond between themselves even through the toxicness. Even though her mom died I feel like they could have made things right at some point later in life. Overall these books are extremely toxic and we should learn from them and avoid the mistakes that they made so that we can have good relationships with our parents.