Reflection Essay Example on Courage

Imagine waking up, a normal day, and then having to pick up your life, and go fight for your country. You just now are making an independent life for yourself, and then you do not know if you will even get to live it. Do you think you could give up your life before even truly beginning it? Courage is defined in a number of different ways. The Merriam Webster Dictionary expresses courage as mental or moral strength to venture, preserve, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. That makes it seem hard to claim to be courageous. Tim O'brien’s memoir, If I Die in a combat zone, tells of his experience as a soldier in the Vietnam War, struggling internally about what courage truly is. The Lexico English Dictionary mentions another view on courage. Acting on one's beliefs despite danger or disapproval. Fear is one of the most prominent emotions to come with being a soldier, except soldiers are expected to gracefully volunteer their life for their country without hesitation or question. As he experiences battle and bloodshed directly and the terrible truths that come along with fighting for his country, Tim realizes fighting in a war he views as morally unjust does not seem right, resulting in him determining that courage is not limited to only a physical act of violence but  the inability to possess courage without fear as well.

Tim O’brien grew up in a time where war was a prominent issue and men gained their respect by their time spent serving their country. Although, he morally believed war was wrong, as he says, “I was persuaded then, and I remain persuaded now, that war was wrong,” (If I Die 17). O’brien felt many different societal pressures to conform to expectations. Due to soldiers being widely respected and Tim growing up with veterans of WWII as parents, he thought that was what was necessary to prove his masculinity. “I was bred with the haste and dispatch and careless muscle-flexing of a nation giving bridle to its own good fortune and success,” (If I Die 11) Due to feeling pressured, O’brien went against his beliefs to please others. He voices his struggle, “I did not want to be a soldier, not even an observer to war. But neither did I want to upset a peculiar balance between the order I knew, the people I knew, and my own private world” (If I Die 22).

Tim O’Brien spent his time serving thinking and developing his view on what courage truly is. Captain Johansen was considered brave by Tim because of his decision to charge a Viet Cong soldier and kill him at chest range. This leads to him contemplating the idea of “the charge”, and that it is the first thing to come to mind when thinking about courage. “Men who charge the enemy despite their fear of death  ‘are remembered as brave, win or lose’ ” (Law of Courage 258-9). Horner also alludes to O’Briens idea of  “proper courage is wise courage” by stating “if we are not thinking, by extension we are not brave in the human dimension” (Law of Courage 258). Tim O'Brien's belief of what courage is, is very similar to the beliefs of Plato, that courage cannot be separated from wisdom, temperance, and justice. 

Yes, rushing into battle, continuing to learn how to ride a bike after falling, and even just having a hard conversation with a loved one are acts of physical courage. However, moral courage was also a very distinguished theme in O’Briens journey to self discovery. He believes that standing firm in your beliefs is also an important form of courage. Although, he struggled to truly possess this quality. He went against his strong beliefs that careless aggression in war takes away from the depth of human bravery. He exemplifies this lack of moral strength by stating, ‘I burned the letters to my family. I read the others and burned them, too. It was over. I simply couldn’t bring myself to flee” (If I Die 67). Tim later returned to active duty with the Alpha Company to conform to what he felt societal expectations were.

Courage cannot exist without fear. The ability to conquer difficult situations and push past comfort zones despite fear leads to possessing bravery and courage. The vietnam war was a very violent and controversial war to the entire world. Most soldiers in Vietnam had a hard time truly understanding the purpose of fighting for their lives. There are different reasons for every soldier's decision to go to battle. Some have religious or political reasons, some believed it was just the American way of life, and many fought in fear of conviction. David Vaughan and William Schum conducted and published a survey on what is behind the motivation of soldiers in Vietnam. They state, “A soldier's preconceptions or expectations can “provide a yardstick of estimated costs” of battle. If the soldier's preconceptions match reality, then motivation may be high” (Motivation in U.S. 11). They claim expectations also play an important role, soldiers serving in a war that meets their projection might make them feel capable of fighting and increase motivation. 

However, it could be argued that there are men in wars that have gone through trauma and different events that led them to numb themselves. They could have experienced a fellow soldier or their best friend on duty die. That could lead to serious depression, psychotic episodes and a myriad of different mental ramifications. Living the same fight day after day gets tiring, especially if they have no choice or feel pressured. Taking that traumatic mental impact constantly could lead to very dark thoughts. Men could use their anger and rage to fight and be courageous for the country. They could not value their future thinking that they already have a death sentence just from being in the war. The death of their fellow soldier  could fuel a rage inside of them, that leads to destroying as many lives of the enemy as possible. That theory was put on display when Tim said, “In the next days it tooks little provocation for us to flick the flint of our Zippo lighters. Thatched roofs take the flame quickly, and on bad days the hamlets of pinkville burned taking, our revenge in fire” (If I Die 119). They could use battle as a way of self harm. Already assuming some will not make it home alive, they could choose to carelessly move through the guerilla tactics in Vietnam, as a death wish. Vaughan and Schum also convey this theme by stating, “Vindictiveness, as a motivational factor, is linked to motivation provided by the primary group; the primary group promotes protective behavior, while vindic- tiveness is a form of revenge” (Motivation in U.S. 12). 

Although, if courage cannot exist without fear, why do soldiers constantly feel the need to hide their fears and worries about death while serving? Tim continuously emphasizes that the soldiers don't talk about their fear of battle or death. “To talk about it was bad luck, the ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy. Death was taboo. The word for getting killed was “wasted” (If I Die 141). They could do it to look strong and portray the idea of a good leader. They felt that they couldn’t show fear due to being looked at as weak. “Fear was taboo. It could be mentioned, of course, but had to be accompanied with a shrug and a grin and obvious resignation. All this took the meaning out of courage” (If I Die 141). Tim saying this shows that courage sometimes contradicts itself. Soldiers are expected to lay their life down for their country and they are looked at as courageous and brave. However, if they were to show fear in battle they would feel that they look weak. Acknowledging a fear and conquering it, that is courage.

Through the traumatic experience of vietnam Tim is able to truly come to terms with what courage means to him. He relishes in the importance of having courage with the company of wisdom, temperance, and justice as well. As much as the loss of friends and near death experiences in Vietnam caused turmoil in Tim, he walks away knowing the war changed him.  He knows fear exists in all of us. A person does not have to be fearless to be courageous.