Amir’s Journey to “Be Good Again” in The Kite Runner Essay Example

People change as they get older. As children come of age, they can learn and grow into better people. The novel The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini follows the main character Amir throughout his life. As the story goes on, Amir gets older and wiser. He learns from mistakes he made as a kid, and learns to be his best self as an adult. Amir becomes a better person since he was a child because he he is able to forgive himself, heal and learn from his past, shows more empathy and selflessness towards others, and he is more open and honest; Amir’s character development reveals that people, especially at a young age, often make mistakes, but it is never too late for someone to accept and amend for the pain they caused others.

Amir is able to forgive and learn from his mistakes he made as a kid, and makes more thoughtful decisions as an adult. When Amir tells Baba he wants to be a writer, Baba gets upset with him. Amir is disappointed with Baba’s reaction, but thinks to himself, “I would stand my ground, I decided. I didn’t want to sacrifice for Baba anymore. The last time I had done that, I had damned myself” (135). Amir is going to do what he wants to do, not what will please Baba. He no longer cares what Baba thinks of him, he wants to do what makes him happy. Another time when Amir learns from his mistakes is when Rahim Khan told Amir about Sohrab in Kabul; Amir knows that if he waits too long he will want to return home to America. He tells himself, “I would wade back into that great, big river and let myself forget, let the things I learned these last few days sink to the bottom...I’d let the waters carry me away from what I had to do. From Hassan. From the past that had come calling. And from this one last chance of redemption” (231). Amir knows himself well enough to know that waiting with Rahim Khan in Kabul will only tempt him to return home, where he will not have to face any pain, guilt, or his own past. He knows he must step out of his comfort zone to make it up to Hassan, to redeem himself. When Hassan is being sexually assaulted during the winter of 1975, Amir runs away from him and does not do anything to help (77). Now, nearly thirty years later, he knows he must help Sohrab, and he can not turn back. This is his way to forgive himself after what he had done, to make it up to Hassan. It is his “one last chance of redemption”. Amir also learns from his past mistakes by accepting and taking what he deserves. When Amir is able to save Sohrab, he gets fatally beaten by Assef. But this is what he has been waiting for; he thinks to himself, “For the first time since the winter of 1975, I felt at peace...I’d been looking forward to this...My body was broken--just how badly I wouldn’t find out until later--but I felt healed. Healed at last” (289). Amir finally feels “at peace” with himself after all the pain he caused Hassan. He is now the one receiving pain from someone else, which is a relief after the suffering he has caused Hassan. He knows he deserves to be punished after what he did to him. Later on when Amir is back at home in America, he thinks back to the secret Baba has kept from Hassan and him. He thinks Baba saw Hassan as, “The half that, maybe, in the most secret recesses of his heart, Baba had thought of as his true son...Then I realized something. The last thought had brought no sting with it” (359). Amir is accepting the fact that growing up, Baba liked Hassan better than him. He is no longer constantly jealous of the affection Baba gives to Hassan. When Amir was a child, he never showed proper respect to Hassan and those around him, and his selfishness constantly caused pain. Now, as an adult, he learns from his past mistakes and can make more selfless decisions. 

Amir shows more empathy and is more selfless as an adult. When Amir is talking to Assef when trying to rescue Sohrab, Assef tells him how much he loves killing people because he believes that’s what God wants him to do. Amir responds, “What mission is that?...Stoning adulterers? Raping children? Flogging women for wearing high heels? Massacring Hazaras? All in the name of Islam?” (284). Amir is standing up to a notorious bully who he would have cowered away from as a child. He is standing up for a reason other than himself, unlike what he would have done as a kid. He does not spend any time debating whether to say something, the “words spilled suddenly and unexpectedly” (284). Amir learns to care for other people’s feelings rather than his own. When Amir was a kid in Afghanistan and was watching Hassan be raped, he said Hassan had the “look of the lamb” (76). He describes the look of the lamb as one recognizing their sacrifice is for a greater good, like a lamb on Eid-e-Qorban. In the alley, Amir thought to himself, “Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to slay, to win Baba” (77). Although it is Hassan who is getting assaulted, Amir makes the situation about him without worrying about how Hassan is being affected. However, later in the story when Amir is at Assef’s house trying to rescue Sohrab, he describes this moment: “Sohrab’s eyes flicked to me. They were slaughter sheep’s eyes. They even had the mascara--I remembered how, on the day of Eid of qorban, the mullah in our backyard used to apply mascara to the eyes of the sheep and feed it a cube of sugar before slicing its throat. I thought I saw pleading in Sohrab’s eyes” (285). Here he says Sohrab is “pleading”, not accepting, like he had described Hassan. He is not looking at this situation on how it affects him, but how it is affecting Sohrab. His selshin view of the world that he had as a child has disappeared, and instead he is concerned about Sohrab and not himself. Amir also changes his perspective on race, standing up to racist terms people use. When Soraya and Amir visit the General and his wife, the General refers to Sohrab as “Hazara boy”. Even though Amir respects the general and has seen him as a father figure, he has no problem telling the general, “You will never again refer to him as ‘Hazara boy’ in my presence. He has a name and it’s Sohrab” (361). When Amir was a child he saw Hassan as a lesser person than himself, even saying “he was just a Hazara” (77) as an excuse to not help him when he was being raped. But as an adult he recognizes that this is wrong and treats everyone with more respect, and he makes sure others do, too. When Amir is an adult, he is more aware of others feelings and shows less selfishness as he did as a child. 

As an adult, Amir no longer lies and instead is open and honest with others. When Amir is talking to Sohrab outside the mosque, he tells Sohrab what Assef did to Hassan: “He hurt him in a very bad way, and I...I couldn’t save your father the way he had saved me” (319). Amir recognizes the pain he caused Hassan and how he did not do anything to save him. He is being honest with himself and Sohrab, finally admitting the pain he inflicted on Hassan at a young age. 

Amir continues to tell Sohrab the truth when they are on a picnic one day. Amir tells Sohrab that he and Hassan were half brothers. He thinks after he said it, “It just came out. I had wanted to tell him the night we had sat by the mosque, but I hadn’t. But he had a right to know; I didn’t want to hide anything anymore” (322). Amir is no longer keeping secrets; he is telling the truth. Unlike how Baba and Ali kept secrets from Hassan and Amir their whole lives, Amir tells Sohrab right away because he does not “want to hide anything anymore”. Amir also learns to be honest with his wife. After keeping his past from her for fifteen years, he decides to tell her everything he has kept from her over the phone: “Then I did what I hadn’t done in fifteen years of marriage: I told my wife everything. Everything. I had pictured this moment so many times, dreaded it, but, as I spoke, I felt something lifting off my chest” (325). Although Amir never told Soraya about what happened in his childhood, he decides to tell her at this point. He knows he cannot keep in his secrets any longer and must tell Soraya the truth. Amir learns to be truthful to those he loves; he knows he can’t keep lying to mask his sinful past. 

Amir becomes a better person since he was a child because he shows more empathy and selflessness towards others, he is able to forgive himself, heal and learn from his past, and he is more open and honest; Amir’s character development reveals that as people go through life their perspectives can change through their experiences, which allows them to grow into a better person. The reader gets to see how Amir grows from a selfish, dishonest child into an adult that is able to recognize his mistakes and not repeat them, which suggests that coming of age means the ability to make up for one's past mistakes. Kids and adolescents do not have much perspective on life. They often are focused on their own lives and unaware of the world and people around them. But, like Amir, when kids come of age and go through life, they gain more perspective and are more aware of other people in their lives. Amir's story can show that although people make mistakes, especially at a young age, they can learn from their mistakes and find a "way to be good again" (2). It is important to teach young people who are just learning to navigate their life that even in hard times, there will be time to heal and turn their lives around.