The Disappointment Emotions in Salvation by Langston Hughes

Christianity is one of the most sacred and practiced religions on Earth. The religion is largely based on Jesus’ crucifixion because of its undeniable importance to the purification of mankind’s sins. However, in order for an individual to be forgiven for their sins, one must be saved by accepting Jesus into their life. In the story, “Salvation” by Langston Hughes, the author gives a testimony of his younger self being saved from sin, but with a rather dispirited tone. Throughout the narrative, Hughes depicts his theme of utter disappointment by highlighting the internal and external conflicts that caused his horrendous experience. 

The first conflict the adolescent comes across that disheartens him is against a supernatural being. In the beginning, Hughes takes his Aunt Reed’s words quite literally when she claims that salvation comes when Jesus can be seen, heard, and felt in the soul (2). The author naively believes her and patiently waits for Jesus to magically appear or somehow touch him. That patience began to wear thin as more children headed to the altar to be saved. Ultimately, this leaves only two young boys awaiting salvation, one of which being Hughes. He states that he “kept waiting serenely for Jesus, waiting, waiting- but he didn't come” (7). The conflict that arises here is Jesus’ absence which, in result, led to the author’s first disappointment. He was let down by Jesus because of his perception that Christ was not coming to rescue him. Not only did this issue negatively affect Hughes, but it also sprouted another conflict between himself and the church. 

As a result of his ignorance, the protagonist had to face an external dispute with the saints of the church. Hughes stated that he was the last child left on the mourner’s bench as his aunt “came and knelt at his knees and cried” and “the whole congregation prayed for him alone, in a mighty wail of moans and voices” (7). The author vividly portrays his feeling of isolation even with the entirety of the church praying over him. Not only could he not see Jesus on his own, but the entire fellowship proved useless as well. Even the minister began to ask “why don't you come to Jesus? Jesus is waiting for you. He wants you” (8). Correspondingly, a young boy named Westley tempted Hughes to come to the altar and be saved too. After trying to convince him, Westley got up and sat on the platform grinning at him (11). Yet, Hughes remains conflicted here because he is trying to do the right thing, but the entire church is imploring him to do the opposite. Ultimately, the persistence of the church and his failure to see Jesus caused Hughes to doubt himself and develop another conflict he must manage. 

Quite possibly the most evident conflict in this story is Hughes’ internal conflict with himself. While being prayed over, he states that he felt so ashamed for making the congregation stay late and decided to turn against his moral beliefs, go up to the altar, and be saved (11). Although everyone rejoiced and sang, he was remorseful for what he had done. At such a young age, He began to doubt his own moral and religious beliefs because of such an underwhelming, yet stressful, salvation. In the final paragraph, Hughes remembers his aunt thinking he was crying from his recent accomplishment, but actually it was the guilt he felt from deceiving the people of the church (15). The entire experience left him feeling isolated, helpless, and disappointed. However, the most disappointing element to the story is his loss of faith in Jesus and in himself. 

In closing, Hughes’ main objective of getting saved became such a hill to climb because of all of the persistent conflicts that tortured his subconscious . Even through all of the traumatic events that took place, Hughes was most disappointed in himself. This could be the result of him feeling guilty for all of his prior transgressions and desperately yearning to be cleansed of them. Similar to most churchgoers, being saved is a rite of passage that leads to a new and more faithful life. In his eyes, he felt that his failure to properly do so meant that he was not rightfully saved from his sins. That absence of salvation only left Hughes with his sin and disappointment.