Interview Summary Essay Example

*Taylor is the alias my interviewee has requested to be used  

1.Taylor was in 8th grade when her suffering began. She befriended a new boy who had just joined her 8th grade class for his last year of middle school. She and the boy became friends and eventually he asked her out. Taylor said yes, and the two of them dated for about nine months. Her boyfriend was sweet to her in the beginning, and she knew that he struggled with mental health issues. And as time went on, she began to feel overwhelmed in the relationship. 

2.(A) Taylor first recognized that she was heading into a challenging time of suffering when her boyfriend tried to kill himself and he stopped talking to her. As she was only 13 years old, she decided to get her mother involved. This incident was not the first time it had happened, but it was the first time she could not deescalate the situation herself. When she was in the relationship, she said she, “Just figured it out.” When he broke up with her, she said, “I didn’t have to worry about who I talked to, what I said, and not giving him my attention in fear of him doing something to himself or someone, which really hit me.” During that time, she did not feel the intensity until after they broke up. 

(B) Taylor talks about those close to her who did not initially see her suffering. She says that her mother did not know the extent of the abuse until after she was no longer in the relationship. She said, “When she found out in more detail, she wished she would have intervened earlier.” Taylor said that she did not talk about what happened for a long time. No one treated her differently and none of her friends knew what was happening. She notes that she was so young, therefore all her friends idolized her and the relationship she had. Her friends told her that she was in a perfect relationship but that did not help her realize how toxic and abusive it truly was. Taylor said, “Looks can be deceiving.”  

3.(A) Taylor recalls many feelings from her experience, highlighting fear as the main way she felt. She was scared because, “It was literal life and death.” She said, “Having your significant other say, if you break up with me, I’m going to kill myself, you are staying with them because you fear what they are going to do.” Taylor says that she did love him, but it was truly based off the fear of what he would do if she broke up with him and that it was not a healthy kind of love. 

(B) Taylor mentions that there were large feelings of denial of the way this relationship affected her the way it did. She was unable to understand and completely see how the relationship caused so much trauma and pain. She mentions that when she got into the current relationship she is in that due to the past trauma, she would always be worried that her boyfriend was going to kill himself when he did not respond to her texts.  

4.A time of crisis she struggled with most was when her ex-boyfriend almost tried to kill himself and she almost had to call the police. Taylor told her mother, and they were able to contact his mother. She said, “I stayed up all night and just went to school the next day.” The entire relationship was in perpetual fear of her doing one thing wrong and him hurting himself or ending his life. She said, “It was the smallest things, it was controlling, and manipulative.”  

Personal Reflection 

1.(A) I decided to interview this person because she has a lot to share about her own firsthand experiences with suffering. My rationale in choosing her was because I am already close to her and have a trusting relationship with her, I believed that would foster a safe and comforting environment for her to share her experiences. I wanted to make sure that I interviewed someone that trusted me because I did not want to create any unnecessary distress.  

(B) The most difficult part in choosing this person was knowing that she still never openly talks about her suffering and experiences. I knew that these conversations would be hard, and I wanted to be aware of her feelings and the trauma that she went through. I believe that her knowing me on a personal level was also a choice I had to make. I thought she would be more comfortable discussing her experiences and being completely open and honest with me.  

2. The interview went well. Taylor was hesitant to talk about her experiences because her suffering and trauma made her very vulnerable. Through the interview she would pause and be unsure how to answer certain questions that I was asking but I believe that through the entire process she did her best to be open and honest. I think that the interview did bring up her past and was hard for her. I believe that overall, it went well. Her story was hard to hear and listen to, especially because it continues to affect her today. I feel like the interview went the best it could. She really tried to share her story to the best of her best abilities without creating any distress or bringing on any kind of anxiety attack. 

3. I felt like my communication skills were strong and I was at a good comfort level when I started the interview. I think throughout the interview I began to feel even more comfortable asking her questions because we had established a sense of trust in what she was telling me in her stories. I felt like the comfort level grew throughout the interview and believe that we both used effective communication skills. She was hesitant to explore certain aspects of her suffering and trauma because it brought up her past.  

4. I learned that this person suffered in silence, and this was upsetting to me. It is hard to hear about something that others could have attempted to help or intervene in. It is hard to know that she suffered by herself for so long without feeling like she could ask for help. I also think that knowing how manipulative and abusive someone was to her was hard to grasp and completely understand, which is upsetting. Throughout her entire experience, her family and friends did not see the full extent of the situation and how toxic her relationship was. She was too scared to say anything and thought it was her job to figure out how to support someone who needed more help than she could give. The most upsetting part of her experience was the fact that no one knew what was happening and the fact that someone was so manipulative to such a kind human being who was willing to give her everything and let someone else take everything from her.  

5. I learned that Taylor suffered through her experiences alone for most of the time she was in her relationship with her ex-boyfriend. I also learned that she really struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder after her relationship finally ended. These were aspects of her story that I had not known before talking with her. All of this impacted her and continues to have an impact on how she lives her life and her other relationships. I now better understand her feelings and how this trauma continues to be a part of her story. Her story continues and she has learned how to cope with her anxiety and panic attacks which makes her incredibly resilient. I believe that she has grown as an individual and continues to shine light in so many people’s lives.  

6. I feel like interviewing Taylor really allowed me to become closer with her because I was able to better understand her suffering. I really appreciate her for talking about her experiences openly with me because I know that it was not easy for her. I think that interviewing someone who has experienced suffering is truly eye-opening because it allowed me to understand and see into someone else’s life. When I personally reflect on the interview, I better understand her suffering and how she has coped with it. I think that validating and understanding her vulnerability is vital in creating a safe space for her to share her experiences. I believe that interviewing her allowed me to realize the amount of pain and suffering that goes unnoticed every day. As she said, not everything is what it always seems. It is so important to check in on our loved ones and do our best to be kind to them because we never truly know about everything that is happening in their lives.