Family Affair by Haruki Murakami Book Review

As society has evolved into the twenty-first century, individuals have grown and embraced their true selves, despite the expectation of conforming to society's rules. In the short story “Family Affair” by Haruki Murakami and in the collection, The Elephant Vanishes, the author portrays the detached life of a man who is compelled to accept the harsh reality of his sister getting married. Contrasting to his sister’s fiance, the protagonist lives a reckless and repetitive life, and his unwillingness to gain a sense of responsibility leads him to become alienated from society. The protagonist feels threatened by his sister’s fiance and is unwilling to accept him into his life; he refuses to mature and become a responsible individual.  The narrator develops a sense of uneasiness in his life and realizes that he is living a toxic and substandard lifestyle; even though he reflects on his life, there is no dramatic shift in his behavior, which demonstrates how he will always be perceived as an outcast in society. Haruki Murakami intends to encompass the abstract view of individuals defying normality and their rebellious nature of not conforming to society’s rules.

The protagonist lives an extremely grim and unconventional life where he is perceived to be detached from society. He is known as being a womanizer as he does not have any intention to settle for a woman, rather he prefers to solely engage in sexual interactions with them, hence why he asked the girl he was seeing if he “Can invite [her] out again soon?” In which she replied, “on a date or to a hotel? Both... the two go together. Like a toothbrush and toothpaste” (100). The narrator toxically fuels his demeanor by sleeping with a countless number of women. He cannot have a relationship in his life without the dominating physical aspect being prominent - hence why Murakami uses visual imagery to reference a toothbrush and toothpaste, as one cannot use a toothbrush without toothpaste and vice versa. Moreover, the protagonist’s life is consumed with the sexual gratification he receives through women. He does not care to build a relationship with them, instead, all he cares about is “[to] go somewhere and do something with some girl [he] hardly knows” (106). The recklessness portrayed through this statement enforces the reality of the protagonist’s life. His only intention is to seek pleasure through the women that he sleeps with. Already being different from society, the protagonist is sheltered and has little regard for the toxic attitudes he portrays. Along with the overt sexual component overtaking his lifestyle, the protagonist has become so dependent on alcohol that “four drinks are just enough to bring [him] up to normal ”(100). The protagonist is reliant on alcohol to fill the voids of emptiness in his life. When he states that four drinks are just enough to bring him up to normal, it suggests the idea of how he does not feel accepted enough to be living in a society without it. Usually, alcohol can be seen as a coping mechanism to fade someone's pain and emptiness away as it detaches them from reality and places them in a euphoric state - but at the same time, the harsh consequences of drinking are a direct parallel to the characters true and raw emotions. As a result, the protagonist pursues a reckless lifestyle and relies on substandard acts such as intercourse and alcohol to take control of his life.  

As the narrator continues to live a reckless lifestyle, he feels threatened by his sister's fiance as his behaviours and customs, unlike Noburo Watanabe, do not meet up to par with society's standards. The narrator’s objection to maturing and taking responsibility for his life is demonstrated through his repetitive acts of watching television; he would stare at the T.V and watch “their cannons [shoot] silent shells” (101). The silence represents how the narrator lives his life. He is inattentive and detached from reality, much like how he watches television. The war going on in the movie is paralleled to his lifestyle and the silence is representative of how he refuses to grow up and take initiative in his day-to-day life. It is not until Watanabe enters his sister's life and fixes the television for them, and because of this, “[his] home doesn’t feel like his home any longer” (113). As Watanabe intrudes the protagonist's home, he not only feels a sense of resentment towards Noboru, but he feels threatened by him. In Contrast  to the protagonist, Watanabe lives a well-respected lifestyle that is accepted in society - he has a well-paying and respectable job and is choosing to get married at a young age to pass down his family name. The protagonist is the complete opposite. He does not follow these typical societal rules like getting married, and as a result, he is seen as anything but normal. Through the main character's frustration of meeting Watanabe and seeing his well-mannered demeanor during lunch, the protagonist expresses that “the problem [is of] the spaghetti [that was being served]. The surface of the pasta had an unpleasant, floury texture. The center was still hard and uncooked” (98).

Murakami uses formal diction and visual imagery to solidify the ill perception the narrator has towards Watanabe. There is a stark distinction between the main character and Watanbe’s personalities as the protagonist refuses to eat what does not please him and is being extremely difficult; this stubbornness is very similar to his view towards society and Noburu Watanabe, as they both promote the idea of perfectness and normality. As Murakami uses spaghetti to reference Watanabe, this represents uniformity between individuals in society. Usually, spaghetti is intertwined and looks the same - similar to how it is unappealing when plain. This is a direct comparison to how Watanabe is like every other individual in society - but the protagonist is not. He is different. Unlike society, the protagonist does not live a monotonous life, rather he likes to go against society's rules and rebel. Through the major changes in his life, the narrator begins to gain awareness that he is living a destructive lifestyle that is getting him nowhere in life, yet he is still extremely stubborn and refuses to change his ways. 

The protagonist develops a sense of uneasiness in his life as he recognizes the detrimental and ill effects his lifestyle has on him, yet he refuses to conform to society’s rules, thus resulting in the realization that he will always be perceived as an outcast in society. Even after having dinner with his sister and her fiance and being exposed to the idea of settling down and taking control over his life, the protagonist returns to his routined lifestyle of presenting himself as a womanizer. He proceeds to head to a bar where “two seats away from [him] was a girl… she was drunk by this time and so was he”(112). He “accompanied her to her apartment, where [they] had sex as a matter of course” (112). His actions convey his ideals of being a womanizer and not wanting much from women other than their bodies for his pleasure. After sleeping with the girl, he struggles “picking up his polo shirt and undergarments...in the dark” (112) specifically, suggesting the representation of how he finds it hard to grasp onto reality and how the actions such as, committing to one partner and presenting himself in a righteous manner are irrefutably expected from him. As a result, the protagonist realizes how damaging his lifestyle is and the impacts it has had on him. He questions himself and his actions as he comes to the harsh cognizance that his life has been meaningless: “How many years had it been since [he] last vomited from drinking? What the hell was [he] doing these days?” (113) The awareness that the narrator's faces depict his true feelings and emotions towards his thoughts and actions. He realizes that he has been living a destructive lifestyle that has gotten him nowhere in life. Even though this may be, the protagonist accepts the reality he is in as “[he] guess[es] [he will] have to stop at some point, but [he] can't seem to figure out how” (115). His attitudes amplify the idea of how he understands the condition of his way of life, but does not care as to what society has to say about him. . He grasps onto the understanding that he is not like other individuals in society and his stoic attitudes towards life have caused him to be considered to be an outsider.  Add another example to show how he realizes he’s different but doesn’t care. 

In the short story “Family Affair”, Haruki Murakami depicts the detrimental life of a man who fails to be perceived as normal in society because of his behaviours and actions. The protagonist is seen as living his life as a womanizer and relying heavily on substances like alcohol to function in his day-to-day life. He realizes the severity of the detrimental choices he has made and how they have shaped his life, but refuses to change his ways, indicating that he will always be considered an outsider in society. Murakami suggests that in today’s society, individuals are extremely different and cannot be subject to the expectations of conforming to societal norms.